Light My Fire
by kikiskorner
Summary: Emma finds Dean outside feeling down about his life.


Emma walks outside, muttering to herself as she heads toward her rental car. How could she have forgotten her phone? She rounds the corner to where she's parked, stopping suddenly when she sees one of the members of the Shield sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. She frowns a little, trying to remember their names. No wonder people thought she was a flake. Dean! This is Dean Ambrose. She starts walking again, walking off the sidewalk to her small rental.

As she's walking back toward the sidewalk, she can see a cigarette hanging between Dean's lips. She frowns a bit. He smokes? But it isn't lit. That's when she notices the lighter in his hands. She stops walking and watches him. He's staring down at the lighter as he lights it. After staring at the flame for a few seconds, he releases the button. In the matter of seconds after that, he's lighting it again.

"It works better if you light the cigarette," Emma finally says as she approaches cautiously.

Dean's head snaps up. "Thanks for the tip," he mutters. He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth as he looks back down at his lighter. "Shouldn't you be dancing with Santino?"

Emma frowns. "Sorry to bother you." She walks onto the sidewalk and starts toward the main door.

"Wait," Dean calls after her, growling when she doesn't stop. Standing up, he follows her. "Wait up." What's her name? Emily? Erin? Ellie? Ella? Emma! "Emma, hey, wait up." He jogs and finally catches her. He grabs hold of her wrist carefully.

"Look, I know you think I'm just some flake. And maybe I am, but we still have feelings too."

"I know. I just… bad night. Usually people don't talk to me when I'm like this." He rubs the palm of his hand on his chest in a nervous manner. "And I…" He shrugs.

"You're sorry?"

Dean nods. "Yeah."

"Now you say it." She watches him closely. "Right. Enjoy the cigarette you aren't lighting." She turns and tries to walk away.

"The flame is going out," Dean blurts out making her stop. He sighs as she turns toward him once again.

"Looked…"

"No, not that." He can't believe he's even talking about anything; especially with this crazy woman. Who's he to call crazy? "I um… me."

"You?" Emma raises an eyebrow at him as she pulls him over to the bench nearby. "What are you talking about?"

Dean sighs. "I just feel like everything is going the wrong way. Not just in the ring. But me… I just don't know what to do anymore."

Emma carefully rests her hand on Dean's thigh. "Dean…"

"Ever think that you're here for a mere minute and then poof, flame's out. And what the hell have I done with my life? Spent a good part of my twenties so drunk that I don't remember most of it. And here I am, almost thirty and have jack shit. I told myself I wasn't going to be like my parents. But here I am. Worthless, just like them."

"You aren't worthless."

"No?" He looks over at Emma. "Then what am I?"

"Well, Roman and Seth seem to adore you."

"Yeah, but that's not the same." He sighs. "I want…" He's never been good at opening up to anyone. Even Roman and Seth have to beat things out of him. His rotten childhood is to blame for that. Okay, so his entire childhood wasn't rotten, but a good portion of it was.

"What do you want? You'll never get it until you can say it, Dean."

He licks his lips. "I um…" Why is it so hard to say family? "Family. I want a family. But who in the right mind would want to be with someone like me? I'm a mess. I'm fucking crazy. I've never done the whole…" He gestures wildly. "…girlfriend thing. I fucking used women. All I wanted to do was fuck them and get rid of 'em. But now? Never going to happen. They'll take one look at my fucking past, tell me I'm an ass hole, and run. And I am. I am an ass hole. Who the fuck uses women? What kind of person am I? My kids… if that ever happens… they're going to hate me. I'm not going to be a good parent. My parents sucked."

"Dean, just because you were like that, doesn't mean you are now. People can change. And if you truly want a family, you can. You just have to be willing to open up to people." Emma smiles at him. "You have to be willing to open up to a woman. You will find someone. Who knows? Maybe you already have and just don't know it yet." She watches him. "This flame? Maybe it's not out for good. Maybe she just needs to light it again." She leans over and kisses Dean's cheek, though she isn't completely sure why. "Get some sleep, Dean." She stands up. "I don't see a missing flame. It's still there." She smiles at him before walking back into the hotel.

**The End**


End file.
